But that’s because actors who try to play an emotion end up playing the IDEA of the emotion. “I’m sad, so I’m going to slump my shoulders and hang my head and shuffle my feet. I’m angry, so I’m going to glare at everyone and yell all my lines.”

What I find, when I’m playing a character in the throes of emotion, is that the character is usually trying not to let the emotion be so obvious. My character may be sad, but she’s fighting back the tears and trying to “stay strong.” My character may be angry, but she’s very controlled … which is usually much scarier for the audience, because you’re wondering (as the audience) when the explosion will come!

But I had to do a LOT of work on my own relationship with emotions as a person, as a human being, before I became truly comfortable playing characters who are feeling strong emotions. I’d spent a lifetime not showing weakness, not letting people see me cry, and I was also very afraid of my anger.

“Making friends” with emotions — ALL of them! — was vital to becoming a good actor. It also has made me a better human being.

Emotions and empathy rock!

Even our pal science, after being pretty dead to emotions for a long time, is now catching up and righting itself with a dizzying speed.

But you’re right; sometimes I roll my eyes so hard at the stupid things people say about emotions. One of the reasons I created the five empathic skills in the book is so that people could create a private, interior place where emotional awareness was possible. It really does help.

So true so true so true… yet I don’t know how to not be trapped.