A new Soul Tending program for 2021

Your emotions can help you thrive in troubled times I hope that you and your emotions are working well together, and that you’re taking good care of yourself in these troubled times. Something we’ve all realized is how vital emotional skills are — and how much people suffer if they don’t have those skills. As we’ve all been feeling the necessary emotions of fear, anxiety, and panic … Read More

In Defense of Judgment

Your judgments have value and purpose When I grew up in spiritual groups, I was taught that judgment was forbidden, and wow, was that a colossal mistake. This no-judgment rule is still infecting a lot of communities, however, so it’s worth looking at again. This essay is from my 2010 book The Language of Emotions. When I refer to judgment, I refer to your capacity to … Read More

When sadness, grief, and depression are necessary

Welcoming the gifts of the Sadness Family In times of upheaval, loss, and trouble, many emotions will step forward to offer their gifts and their unique forms of genius. If you don’t know this, you may mistakenly respond to multiple emotions as if they’re problems in and of themselves. You don’t have to; there is another way. All emotions bring you help and support, and all … Read More

The magical relationship between anger and forgiveness

Anger is essential to true forgiveness I wrote this piece in my book The Language of Emotions back in 2010, but I return to it a lot. So much of what we’re told about forgiveness teaches us to avoid the powerful emotions that arise when we’ve been wounded or betrayed. But these powerful emotions are crucial to our ability to realize what happened, feel it, and … Read More

For Mother’s Day

How Do We Celebrate Our Mothers? A real-world poem for Mother’s Day How do we celebrate our mothers  — The ones who are here and the ones who aren’t? The ones who gave their lives for us, And the ones who walked away. The ones who lovingly directed our lives as if we were art projects, And the ones who never knew how to welcome us … Read More

Love is constant; only the names change

In my work, I focus on emotions and empathy, and people regularly ask me whether love is an emotion. To my eye, no, it’s not. Here’s why. Why love is not an emotion When an emotion is healthy, it arises only when it’s needed, it shifts and changes in response to its environment, and it recedes willingly once it has addressed an issue. When love is … Read More

When fear, anxiety, and panic are necessary

Welcoming the genius in the Fear Family In times of danger and upheaval, many emotions will step forward to offer their gifts and their unique forms of genius. But most of us don’t know this, so we treat our emotions as problems instead of gifts. But your emotions are not problems! They arise to help you deal with problems! I’m seeing people everywhere telling us not … Read More

Multiple emotions are necessary, now and always

Yes, you can learn to work with multiple emotions! In fact, you already do work with multiple emotions, because it’s completely natural for emotions to arise in pairs, groups, and clusters. Emotions are vital aspects of your capacity to think, decide, behave, and act, and each one brings you specific gifts and skills — and it’s normal and natural to require more than one gift or … Read More

Caring for Yourself in Anxious Times

Your anxiety is necessary — and you can learn how to work with it If you’re feeling anxious, very anxious, or deeply anxious right now, I have good news for you: your anxiety is normal and necessary. You need your anxiety, and there are supportive skills and practices to help you work with your anxiety instead of being worked over by it. Most of us have … Read More

Welcome to Embracing Anxiety!

My newest book is here! I am so pleased to present my newest book, Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of This Vital Emotion!     When I wrote my book, The Language of Emotions, way back in 2009, I didn’t understand anxiety well at all. I mistakenly saw it as a problem, but I’m not alone in making that mistake! As I did my … Read More

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