Grief: The deep river of the soul

Grief is a beautiful, languid, and powerful emotion that is very different from sadness. Sadness arises when you’re holding on to something that isn’t working anyway; sadness arises to help you relax and let go. Grief is different: it arises when something is lost irretrievably, or when a death occurs – be it actual death, or the death of important attachments, ideas, or relationships. Grief does not simply … Read More

The social genius of jealousy and envy

Welcoming jealousy and envy! Jealousy and envy need a hearty welcome, because they are perhaps two of the most hated (and valenced) emotions in the entire emotional realm. This is a tragedy, because jealousy and envy are actually essential for our social survival — we really need them! Luckily, we can work with jealousy and envy empathically and shield ourselves from the deeply unfortunate things we’ve … Read More

The twisted love inside hatred, revisited!

The twisted love in hatred Previously, we looked at the connection between hatred, disgust, and rage. Rage is the aggressive aspect of hatred that can make you obsess over your hate targets and project all sorts of troubling material onto them. The fascinating thing about hatred is that you actually choose your hate targets not simply because they’re odious, but because they’re specifically odious in ways that … Read More

Embracing your hatred and saving the world

Hatred: The Shadowy and Necessary Emotion As we take a tour through the emotional realm, we’ve started with the emotions that help you set boundaries: Anger, guilt and shame, and apathy (the mask for anger). Now, we’ll look at an emotion that can set boundaries in very troubling ways if you don’t know how to work with it: hatred. Actually, we’ll continue to look at hatred … Read More

Is Love an Emotion?

Every emotion has a purpose Emotions are essential aspects of your awareness, your intelligence, your social skills, and your ability to communicate — and each one has a specific purpose. Every emotion has a specific function and a specific action for you to complete so that it can move on and make room for your next emotion, your next thought, and your next idea. As we … Read More

The Language of Emotions wins! Now with more bling!

Wow! Silver and Gold! In May, we found out that The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings are Trying to Tell You (Sounds True, June 2010) won two national book awards: 2010 Gold Medal from the Independent Publisher Book Awards (in Self Help) The Independent Publisher Book Awards recognizes the thousands of exemplary independent, university, and self-published titles produced each year, and rewards those who exhibit … Read More

The Language of Emotions wins!

Wow! Silver and Gold! (May 12, 2011 – Boulder, Colo.) Sounds True is proud to announce that author Karla McLaren has won two awards for her 2010 book, The Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings are Trying to Tell You (Sounds True, June 2010. The awards include: 2010 Gold Medal from the Independent Publisher Book Awards (in Self Help) The Independent Publisher Book Awards recognizes the … Read More

Critical thinking skills for your emotions

When I go out to speak about The Language of Emotions, I often have the audience call out the things they’ve learned about emotions. I start off by saying “Big girls don’t cry, There’s nothing to be afraid of, You should be ashamed of yourself …” and then the audience adds their own versions of the messages we all get as other people attempt to manage … Read More

Are you positive about emotions?

As tan bear clearly shows us, if there’s one thing many people know about emotions, it’s the idea that there are positive ones and negative ones. But it’s not just silly cartoon animals that share this idea: In emotion research, the categorization of emotions into the two simple categories of positivity and negativity is called valencing. Valencing theory tells us that there are two kinds of … Read More

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