When fear, anxiety, and panic are necessary

Welcoming the genius in the Fear Family In times of danger and upheaval, many emotions will step forward to offer their gifts and their unique forms of genius. But most of us don’t know this, so we treat our emotions as problems instead of gifts. But your emotions are not problems! They arise to help you deal with problems! I’m seeing people everywhere telling us not … Read More

When sadness, grief, and depression are necessary

Welcoming the gifts of the Sadness Family In times of upheaval, loss, and trouble, many emotions will step forward to offer their gifts and their unique forms of genius. If you don’t know this, you may mistakenly respond to multiple emotions as if they’re problems in and of themselves. You don’t have to; there is another way. All emotions bring you help and support, and all … Read More

Multiple emotions are necessary, now and always

Yes, you can learn to work with multiple emotions! In fact, you already do work with multiple emotions, because it’s completely natural for emotions to arise in pairs, groups, and clusters. Emotions are vital aspects of your capacity to think, decide, behave, and act, and each one brings you specific gifts and skills — and it’s normal and natural to require more than one gift or … Read More

In Defense of Judgment

Your judgments have value and purpose When I grew up in spiritual groups, I was taught that judgment was forbidden, and wow, was that a colossal mistake. This no-judgment rule is still infecting a lot of communities, however, so it’s worth looking at again. This essay is from my 2010 book The Language of Emotions. When I refer to judgment, I refer to your capacity to … Read More

Caring for Yourself in Anxious Times

Your anxiety is necessary — and you can learn how to work with it If you’re feeling anxious, very anxious, or deeply anxious right now, I have good news for you: your anxiety is normal and necessary. You need your anxiety, and there are supportive skills and practices to help you work with your anxiety instead of being worked over by it. Most of us have … Read More

Welcome to Embracing Anxiety!

My newest book is here! I am so pleased to present my newest book, Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of This Vital Emotion!     When I wrote my book, The Language of Emotions, way back in 2009, I didn’t understand anxiety well at all. I mistakenly saw it as a problem, but I’m not alone in making that mistake! As I did my … Read More

Two Big Emotional Mistakes (and how to fix them)

Your emotions aren’t the problem  As I was writing my newest book, Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of This Vital Emotion I thought a lot about two emotional mistakes that almost everyone makes: We blame emotions for causing problems, when in fact, emotions arise to help us deal with problems We blame emotions for people’s lack of emotional skills  I call these the emotional … Read More

Welcoming the gifts of sadness

SADNESS: The Water Bearer ACTION REQUIRED: Sadness arises when it’s time to let go of something that isn’t working anyway. If you can truly let go, relaxation and rejuvenation will follow. GIFTS: Release ~ Fluidity ~ Grounding ~ Relaxation ~ Rejuvenation THE INTERNAL QUESTIONS: What must be released? What must be rejuvenated? Sadness is a wonderful emotion that arises when something needs to be released. This … Read More

For Mother’s Day

How Do We Celebrate Our Mothers? A real-world poem for Mother’s Day How do we celebrate our mothers — The ones who are here and the ones who aren’t? The ones who gave their lives for us, And the ones who walked away. The ones who lovingly directed our lives as if we were art projects, And the ones who never knew how to welcome us into … Read More

Free Emotions Charts for Kids!

Hello emotional kids and parents! (That’s all of us, you know.) We’re all experiencing lots of emotional responses and reactions to the pandemic, and I posted a free emotions chart for adults, based on a chart that one of our licensed Dynamic Emotional Integration® professionals, Jennifer Asdorian, created. The chart for adults is here. We’ve also made a 2-page chart for kids that includes emotional vocabulary words, and … Read More

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