Your emotions can help you thrive in troubled times Something we’ve all seen so clearly over these years of pandemic and upheaval is how vital emotional skills are — and how much people suffer if they don’t have those skills. If you understand emotions, you can see people being overwhelmed by anger instead of using its energy to set clear boundaries with empathy and strength. You … Read More
How to define your boundaries Boundaries can be confusing to people. Are boundaries rules? Statements? Guidelines? Borders? When we set boundaries with people, what are we doing? When we set boundaries with children, are we disciplining them, or are we guiding them? Boundaries seem to mean many things, so let’s define what we mean by boundaries. Setting boundaries around boundaries Simply put, a boundary is a … Read More
There is a middle path for your emotions In my work, Dynamic Emotional Integration®, I’ve organized the emotions into four families, and I’ve also developed four keys to help people learn how to work with their emotions in new and healing ways. The first key is to unvalence your emotions (because there is no such thing as positive or negative emotions), and the second key is … Read More
Anger is an essential emotion Anger has a terrible reputation, because so many people use anger to hurt themselves or others. But this isn’t anger’s fault! This is not anger’s true nature. Anger is an essential emotion that helps you in every area of your life, and when you know what anger is and how to work with it, you can change your life. Your anger … Read More
There are no positive or negative emotions As we study emotions empathically, we look at each emotion in terms of what it does, what gifts it brings to you, and how you can work with it. And in order to do that, there are four vital keys that can help you unlock the genius in your emotions. The first key: Unvalence the emotions All of your … Read More
Creating a solid ground for your emotions (and yourself) Many people have learned to avoid and repress their emotions, because some emotions can come on very strong. If we don’t have emotional skills, we can be carried away by our emotions (and the emotions of others). Because of this, I teach a number of practices that I call the Empathic Mindfulness practices. I created them specifically … Read More
You can play with your emotions! A Somatic Mini-Workshop at Empathy Academy Saturday, August 12 from 10am to 12:30pm Pacific Time Talking and reading about emotions is a good way to learn about them, but playing with them can help you understand and work with them in healing new ways. By accessing your body’s wisdom, you may find that you’re already working skillfully with your … Read More
Loneliness: The drive for connection Since the first edition of The Language of Emotions appeared, people have wanted me to add drives (such as lust or hunger) to the emotions list, or they’ve asked if specific states are emotions. In this excerpt from the updated and revised Language of Emotions, I explore the most-requested drive: Loneliness. Usually, people ask me about a nuanced form of an … Read More
Your emotions aren’t the problem As I was writing my 2020 book, Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of This Vital Emotion I thought a lot about two emotional mistakes that almost everyone makes: We blame emotions for causing problems, when in fact, emotions arise to help us deal with problems We blame emotions for people’s lack of emotional skills I call these the emotional … Read More
New questions for an entire family! In the newly revised and updated Language of Emotions, the Happiness Family has been upgraded: now, all of these emotions have questions instead of just statements! The emotions in this family are connected to your capacity for hope, amusement, confidence, and inspiration. They are: Happiness, Contentment, and Joy. In this video, I explore the changes I made to this important … Read More