Your emotions aren’t the problem As I was writing my 2020 book, Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of This Vital Emotion I thought a lot about two emotional mistakes that almost everyone makes: We blame emotions for causing problems, when in fact, emotions arise to help us deal with problems We blame emotions for people’s lack of emotional skills I call these the emotional … Read More
Your judgments have value and purpose When I grew up in spiritual groups, I was taught that judgment was forbidden, and wow, was that a colossal mistake. This no-judgment rule is still infecting a lot of communities, however, so it’s worth looking at again. This essay is from my 2010 book The Language of Emotions. When I refer to judgment, I refer to your capacity to … Read More
Welcoming the gifts of the Sadness Family In times of upheaval, loss, and trouble, many emotions will step forward to offer their gifts and their unique forms of genius. If you don’t know this, you may mistakenly respond to multiple emotions as if they’re problems in and of themselves. You don’t have to; there is another way. All emotions bring you help and support, and all … Read More
Celebrate the Full Spectrum! April 2nd is International Autism Awareness Day, but I have to say, if you’re not aware of autism yet, where have you been? The cool kids have already moved on from mere awareness to inclusion, acceptance, and love. We’re celebrating Autism Acceptance Day, Autism Acceptance Month, Autism Acceptance Year, Autism Acceptance Decade (and Autism Acceptance Eon, while we’re at it). Many of my friends … Read More
An empathic approach to a national tragedy I’ve been writing about the deeply cultic leadership style of Donald Trump, and about the ways that cultic leaders attract and then entrap their followers (and destabilize outsiders). How cult leaders entrap their followers — and their detractors Understanding cultic leaders so that you can leave them behind The toxic effects of toxic charisma At its heart, a cultic … Read More
In 2019, when Joe Biden, a powerful, wealthy, White man who will preside over a country built on the backs of enslaved people, said “There’s not a racist bone in my body,” I thought so much about the strangely dislocated and disembodied nature of racism here in the United States. Of course, he’s not the only person to use this phrase; we hear it everywhere. So … Read More
How do we build a more loving and inclusive world? In 2016, when the serious troubles in the United States began to boil and coalesce into ever deepening and blatant racism, I went into a period of study with my friend and colleague Amanda Ball. We read everything that we could get our hands on about race, prejudice, and discrimination, and we educated ourselves from the … Read More
Focusing on the abuse that has ensnared our country I tend to write about explosive things in undercurrent, and one reader noted that if you can’t read subtext, you may not realize what I’m writing. Growing up in the emotionally-repressive world of the yoga, alternative medicine, and New Age cultures taught me how to say things very clearly yet subtly so that less aware people couldn’t … Read More
There is always a way out of cultic relationships As a cult survivor and cult researcher, I have been speaking out about the cultic control of our country, and I know this: there is always a way out. I wrote about Donald Trump’s cultic leadership style here, and shared nine facets that cult leaders share. He used all nine of them: Understanding Unhealthy Leadership. What this … Read More
Understanding the ways cult leaders gain and maintain power Hello! I’m speaking more openly about cults and cult leaders, because we had a cultic leader in power here in the United States, and after the failed and deadly coup attempt, we had more that 140 Republican lawmakers who supported his lies and sedition. It’s not over. But not being supporter of this cultic situation doesn’t free … Read More