There are no positive or negative emotions As we study emotions empathically, we look at each emotion in terms of what it does, what gifts it brings to you, and how you can work with it. And in order to do that, there are four vital keys that can help you unlock the genius in your emotions. The first key: Unvalence the emotions All of your … Read More
Creating a solid ground for your emotions (and yourself) Many people have learned to avoid and repress their emotions, because some emotions can come on very strong. If we don’t have emotional skills, we can be carried away by our emotions (and the emotions of others). Because of this, I teach a number of practices that I call the Empathic Mindfulness practices. I created them specifically … Read More
Loneliness: The drive for connection Since the first edition of The Language of Emotions appeared, people have wanted me to add drives (such as lust or hunger) to the emotions list, or they’ve asked if specific states are emotions. In this excerpt from the updated and revised Language of Emotions, I explore the most-requested drive: Loneliness. Usually, people ask me about a nuanced form of an … Read More
Your emotions aren’t the problem As I was writing my 2020 book, Embracing Anxiety: How to Access the Genius of This Vital Emotion I thought a lot about two emotional mistakes that almost everyone makes: We blame emotions for causing problems, when in fact, emotions arise to help us deal with problems We blame emotions for people’s lack of emotional skills I call these the emotional … Read More
New questions for an entire family! In the newly revised and updated Language of Emotions, the Happiness Family has been upgraded: now, all of these emotions have questions instead of just statements! The emotions in this family are connected to your capacity for hope, amusement, confidence, and inspiration. They are: Happiness, Contentment, and Joy. In this video, I explore the changes I made to this important … Read More
Many changes to an essential group of emotions! In the newly revised and updated Language of Emotions, the Fear Family has seen the largest number of changes. The emotions in this family are vital to your instincts, intuition, and capacity to keep yourself safe. They are: Fear, Anxiety, Confusion, Jealousy, Envy, and Panic. In this video, I explore the changes I made to better support the … Read More
Small changes to an important family The newly updated Language of Emotions contains a lot of new ideas, and in this video, I talk about the changes I’ve made to the Sadness Family: Sadness, Grief, Situational Depression, and the Suicidal Urge See this page for links to order the book, e-book, or audiobook! These four emotions are a vital part of your ability to let go, … Read More
Did you know that there’s a distinct difference between healthy empathy and enmeshment? I’ve spent a lifetime exploring how empathy works, how it goes awry, how we can understand it more clearly, and how we can create a ground for self-care and self-empathy within our everyday lives. I’ve also been looking at an unhealthy idea about empathy that goes something like this: Empathy means that you … Read More
Your emotional vocabulary is an essential tool More than a decade ago, I gathered emotion words here, on Twitter, and on my Facebook page, because people were regularly asking me for a list. I organized all of the words into emotion categories, then into the different intensities of soft, medium, and intense. I also alphabetized each section, and the Emotional Vocabulary List was born! Then, research … Read More
Welcoming the new Language of Emotions People are asking me what has changed in the newly updated Language of Emotions. A lot! A lot has changed! In this video, I talk about the changes I’ve made to the Anger Family. The emotions in this family are Anger, Apathy, Shame, and Hatred, and these emotions are involved with helping you understand and uphold boundaries, rules, and behavioral … Read More