When people think of empathy, they tend to see it as a soft skill, full of yielding and niceness. That’s a part of empathy, but there’s a deeper and more full-bodied form of empathy that helps you engage with people when they (and you!) are not feeling nice at all. In The Art of Empathy, I share a number of relationship skills for dealing with conflict … Read More
Learning to Parent with Your Emotions A 4-week course at Empathy Academy Starts Monday, September 25 Parenthood can be one of the most deeply emotional adventures in our lives, but we don’t have a lot of support to understand the healing purpose of our own emotions or the emotions of the children we care for. In this online course, we’ll help you look at emotions … Read More
It is normal for emotions to arise in pairs and groups! Learning how to work with your emotions empathically means learning how they work and how to work with them directly. Many of the emotional confusions we have arise because we weren’t taught that emotions work together to help us make sense of our world. Emotions are aspects of our awareness and our intelligence, and when … Read More
Burning Contracts helps you let go of unworkable things Because emotions carry such vital messages, I created the Empathic Mindfulness practices to help you learn to work with them, These skills rely on your ability to work in the imaginal realm, which isn’t something you make up; rather, it’s the place where your creativity comes from. In the imaginal realm, you create music, art, dreams, ideas, … Read More
Each emotion arises at many different levels of intensity Working with emotions empathically means learning how they work and how to work with them respectfully. One very important key to developing emotional skills is to learn how to identify emotions at many different levels. This is especially important if you only become aware of your emotions when they’re very intense. Learning about their nuanced states can … Read More
How to define your boundaries Boundaries can be confusing to people. Are boundaries rules? Statements? Guidelines? Borders? When we set boundaries with people, what are we doing? When we set boundaries with children, are we disciplining them, or are we guiding them? Boundaries seem to mean many things, so let’s define what we mean by boundaries. Setting boundaries around boundaries Simply put, a boundary is a … Read More
There is a middle path for your emotions In my work, Dynamic Emotional Integration®, I’ve organized the emotions into four families, and I’ve also developed four keys to help people learn how to work with their emotions in new and healing ways. The first key is to unvalence your emotions (because there is no such thing as positive or negative emotions), and the second key is … Read More
There are no positive or negative emotions As we study emotions empathically, we look at each emotion in terms of what it does, what gifts it brings to you, and how you can work with it. And in order to do that, there are four vital keys that can help you unlock the genius in your emotions. The first key: Unvalence the emotions All of your … Read More
Creating a solid ground for your emotions (and yourself) Many people have learned to avoid and repress their emotions, because some emotions can come on very strong. If we don’t have emotional skills, we can be carried away by our emotions (and the emotions of others). Because of this, I teach a number of practices that I call the Empathic Mindfulness practices. I created them specifically … Read More
Loneliness: The drive for connection Since the first edition of The Language of Emotions appeared, people have wanted me to add drives (such as lust or hunger) to the emotions list, or they’ve asked if specific states are emotions. In this excerpt from the updated and revised Language of Emotions, I explore the most-requested drive: Loneliness. Usually, people ask me about a nuanced form of an … Read More